Bibury

"Do I pronounce this place Bib-ury or Buy-bury", asked my clients - a Brazilian TV host and her crew.

Being from Newcastle, my phonically correct accent offered that 'Bib' not 'Buy' was correct.....it wasn't, apparently, as the pompous hands-on-hip resident sternly told us it is pronounced Buy-bury, act-ual-ly

I absolutely love the Cotswolds area of the UK, truly stunning, so couldn't believe when we arrive in Bibury that this is my first time here. It is picture postcard beautiful, in fact if Disney ever wanted to open a stereotyped theme park of an English village they don't need to bother. It has been done Walt, it's called Bibury. 

 

 

The Coln River seems to bubble up from behind the Trout Farm, where you can catch, whack and cook your sport for a price. The river then ambles down under the bridge passing bending stone cottages with ducks and swans hitching a lift on its watery back.

The locals where less welcoming than the view though; we had the terse lady who corrected our pronunciation (unfortunately it was after my guests had already done two 'takes to camera'), then some guy stomping past us sarcastically blurting out, "in England it is customary to say good morning back". We hadn't heard his first greeting and after a short exchange of views and my explanation of English eccentricity (I'm sure that's what I called him) we moved on. On top of that they tend to drive very quickly towards strangers in Bibury with a determined 'bloody tourists' look on their faces.

When working around Heathrow airport I notice that many of the locals have 'NO 3rd RUNWAY' signs. This leads me to ask 'is there anyone living near Heathrow, or any of our major airports, that didn't know the airport was there when they bought the house?' Same goes for Bibury, I would view the property and then ask myself whether the constant throng of tourists would bother me....it would....so I wouldn't buy there. What I'm basically saying is you made your Laura Ashley bed, mate, so you lie in it.

On that note and to take their point, try to be in Bibury as early as we did because by 11am it goes from sleepy village to city centre rush hour mayhem. Coach loads of Japanese photographers pile in to snap the scenery. They arrive in 50 seat coaches and for 20 scurrying minutes it is a Kodak bloodbath, they don't see the actual village until they get home and have picked up from Snappy Snaps. They then follow the umbrella back to the coach only to be replaced by another diesel pumping monstrosity as soon as a space appears. The inadequate roads block quickly and the already tight bridge becomes the focal point for angry motorists and reversing mini buses. 

Bibury lacks the commercialism of better advertised Cotswolds luminaries such as Broadway and Stow on the Wild so doesn't have endless crafty gift shops, art galleries and tea rooms which is refreshing and means coffee has to be taken in either the Trout Farm (fish delicious, coffee not) or one of the two hotels which is expensive (though the Swan Hotel garden alone is worth the money just to be able to sit back and re-caffeine while watching the carnage).

 

Bibury is a truly beautiful place if you arrive early or after 4pm, don't speak to the locals and have already had a coffee. It is a must see place on any visit to the Cotswolds but....you wouldn't want to live there

 

George Clarke's Sky Den

After watching the TV programme, George Clarke's Amazing Spaces, and knowing of my wife Nicola's fascination with the stars (astrological not Hello Magazine) booking the Sky Den at the Calvert Trust site was a must.

Arriving into the Kielder Water/Forest park is stunning enough, an enhanced expanse of water lapping the beautiful and under rated kingdom of Northumberland since 1982. Add in the fact that this is a designated Dark Sky area gives further reason to want to visit. 

The Calvert Trust caters mainly, but not exclusively, for mentally and physically challenged people of all ages giving a chance to experience such pleasures as the climbing wall, zip wire or to blast Clay Pigeon from the Sky (via lasers). All the staff we meet are wonderful and the first is Jackie who checks us in by delivering our keys and a common sense set of rules as our dog Scooby becomes the centre of attention. 

The Sky Den is amazing. The concept of triangle (bedroom), square (living) and circle (outside space) are cleverly shoe-horned between trees and suspended over a river putting you as close into nature as physically possible. Crossing the bridge is the only way to the wooden construction that blends the den into the surroundings and takes no attention away from the natural beauty of the area. Entering the 'square' gives you every thing you need to survive, don't get me wrong this isn't the Hilton but neither is it roughing it in the wild.

The wooden furniture that is 'jigsawed' into the wall gives the first task as you have to pop it all out and assemble before sitting down to dinner; great fun and very clever. Although, be warned, while concentrating on a game of Scrabble (no TV or Wi-Fi) later that night it became most uncomfortable and probably cost me the game........twice.

Now the reason for our journey is upon us and with the doors to the balcony open we step out and look up to a blanket of stars brilliant and bright against a jet black sky and with no light pollution to spoil our enjoyment we see why Kielder is designated an official Dark Sky area. Even for people like us who don't really have a clue what we are looking at and spent most of the night trying to work out which way was North, it is a display not to be missed but it isn't long with the temperature dropping rapidly towards freezing. I'm reminded of why I had left the North some 35 years ago (well it was for work really) as it is now bloody cold and I'm off to bed. So up to the Triangle and the piece de resistance, for with the simple push of a button the roof splits and separates leaving nothing between you and the stars but the cold air. At least now I'm snuggled under a duvet. Stunning.

The morning is no less spectacular as the mating birds and bubbling river make for the perfect alarm call. Down to the bathroom, where you can if so desired, multi-task by shaving and showering while sitting on the toilet (I'll spare you that photograph).

Breakfast is taken by the wood burning stove in the circle which, while small, is big enough and hot enough to boil our kettle on. This sets us up perfectly for a day fishing in the lake, another first for us, starter rod and kit can be purchased at the Leaplish Centre (who then send you to Tower Knowe Centre) for £70, with an extra £3.75 for the mandatory fishing license and we are off. 

We are blessed with the weather over the two days we are in Northumberland, cold nights but summer days makes all the difference to the mood and success of our visit. 

The Calvert Trust look to do some amazing work, but what they have in endeavour is equalled by a lack of flair and marketing on the business side. Their website is amateurish and does nothing to sell their incredible products and service. It told us to bring absolutely everything with us but as it turned out, the den had everything supplied, even the Scrabble. This means I now resent the 3 hours I spent finding torches and plastic cups to bring. For those wanting a bit more luxury the Straker Lodge is the one for you as it gives a hot tub, flat screen TV and intrusive WiFi - and probably a more sophisticated telescope than the you one the Sky Den had. That said we didn't even know which easy was north never mind how to find Uranus.

Support the Calvert Trust, visit Northumberland and see the stars

Southbank...

Beauty, some say, is in the eye of the beholder and that 'Beauty comes from within' or, one more and my particular favourite when consoling ugly people 'its not important what you look like on the outside but (both hands clasped to heart) 'what is on the inside that counts'. 

These condescending ramblings are perfect for Twitter 'Bio's' and also all pertinent to the buildings that make up the Southbank area of South London. Festival Hall has the audacity to have Royal ahead of its name and the Haywood Gallery is possibly the ugliest use of concrete outside of a Bulgarian social housing estate. Their own website calls it 'brutal architecture' and 'last of few remaining' but that's because, thankfully, they managed to demolish all the others before the idiots that handed this eyesore a Grade 1 listed status could cause any more trouble.

Squeezed between the bridges of Westminster and Waterloo the Southbank, as it is now known, does however have beauty on the inside.

The area has reinvented itself as the trendy, arty part of town. With the Royal Festival Hall playing diversity from Gershwin through to Gary Nyman and the Cappella Choral Composition to Comedy in the Dark (April 2015 listings) there is something for everyone.

Being honest there isn't much I'd personally want to go and see but that says more about me than anyone else. The dozens of acts that perform here are, perhaps, away from the mainstream so it is fantastic that London has a centre to showcase such talent and give people a chance to go and see them.

Thursday 9th April sees the Opening Gala of the very popular Underbelly Festival where Violet the Upside Down Cow returns to form the main stage for a range of different acts allowing, among many others, acrobats, comedians and the Amazing Bubble Man to perform throughout the month (southbankcentre.co.uk/underbelly)

With a range of excellent restaurants and cafes dotted around the halls including Wagamama, Le Pain Quotidian and Giraffe you can now spend a whole day at the Southbank Centre. If you go, as most will, between Friday and Sunday there is the awesome (and I don't use that word lightly) Real Food Market giving up to 40 different stalls cooking food from around the world.

Festival Hall cost £2 million to build (admittedly in 1951 when £2 million meant something) and £111 million to renovate (2007). To me, it is as evident as to why it was so cheap to build as it is impossible to see where the £111 million improvements are but this doesn't really matter because this ugly set of sisters has all its real joy from within.

The Savoy, London

Visitors to London who are fortunate enough to stay at the Savoy Hotel are probably already aware that the small road leading to it is the only street in the UK where you legally drive on the right (wrong) side of the road.

There are a few reasons as to how this came about and I'll give you them now without the pompous declarations and claims of other posts as to which is correct.

When the Lords and Ladies of bygone years were being dropped off at the hotel it was (is) tradition that the Lady sat behind her chauffeur. So in approaching from the right meant that the hotel doorman could open the ladies door first and her ladyship didn't then have to climb over her portly husband in an unseeming fashion.

The London Black Cab has been the most powerful force on the capital streets, up until the surge (pricing) of the Uber app, and by entering Savoy Court American style, with clients attending the Savoy Theatre situated alongside the hotel, they did not block the hotel entrance as they dropped off (if luck was on their side they could drop one punter at the theatre and collect another from the hotel. Double bubble as the Cockneys would say. 

The Savoy can justifiably claim to be the grandest hotel in London, indeed the world, with one of its main rivals being the Ritz Hotel situated out along Piccadilly. A hotel founded by a former manager of the Savoy, Cesar Ritz, who left to 'do it better' and be his own boss. How he succeeded in such magnitude is all the more impressive as Mr Ritz was a hopeless alcoholic and, in a former employ, would run through the guest corridors at 5am ringing a bell as he chased his wife with a gun.

Businessman Prince Al-Waleed Bin Talal Bin Abdul-Aziz Al-Saud, or the artist formally known as Prince (to his friends), spent countless millions renovating the Savoy a few years ago with many traditionalists never returning due to the fact that they hated the new decor or they'd died during the 2 years it was closed. 

Since King Henry gifted the land to Peter, Count of Savoy, in 1246, (why he didn't wait until 1 o'clock is a mystery and very old joke) the place has stunk of the rich, famous and privileged. Vivien Leigh met her future husband Laurence Olivier here and even our future Queen Elizabeth chose the Savoy as the venue to officially be seen 'out' with Philip Mountbatten.

Take a look, take a photo and, if you are actually staying there, as many of the toiletries as you can.

Summer Solstice 2015

Stonehenge used to be open access to all, in fact not so long ago people barely bothered with the mysterious rock formation, planted just off the A303 in Wiltshire. Then the owner of the field in which it sits bequeathed the land to English Heritage who put a fence around the stones, a turnstile quickly followed before eventually the multi million pound exhibit you pay to see today was born and.......no touching the stones. To be fair, souvenir hunters were guilty of chipping bits off so I guess their intentions were at least honourable and for the good of preservation.

 

The summer and winter solstice celebrations (longest and shortest day of the year) gives us the rare opportunity to get up close and very personal to the Henge. To walk around and with-in the Henge (not really a Henge) overnight before watching the sun rise over the heal stone from the inner circle. Powerful, mystical and memorable.

 

We wouldn't be being honest if we didn't warn you that this is not for everyone. Access to the stones is made possible because the modern day druids and wizards believe this to be their religious right. But, its success does mean that crowds of between 18000-35000 converge on the site, some for the experience but most for the party (The Glastonbury festival follows close after the Summer solstice and is 'en route').

 

There are many police and security on hand and, when I did it, I never felt threatened, just irritated. Arrests for minor drug offences are common as are people calling you 'dude' and telling you they love you.

 

We will pick you up from your home or hotel and transport you in comfort to a pub/restaurant of your choice close to the site. Wellington boots and torches are needed for the 15 minute walk to the stones from the vehicle (please note this is over a field and it could be wet...haha did you think summer meant summer?) Head towards the music, drumming and festival noise where we dance until dawn (dancing is optional). 

 

Sun rises around 04.45am to great celebrations and, if honest, relief in that the return journey beckons. We'll stop for a well earned breakfast and a chance to swap stories and photographs before heading back and the comfort of your bed.

Bespoke Tours of the UK

Someone once said that ‘Time and Tide wait for no man’ Time: meaning that no one person is more powerful or can halt the onset of time, Tide: well, if you are late for your cruise ship it, and its Greek captain, will not wait for you.

 

We at Chirton Grange are always looking for ways to enhance our clients visit or experience and with the launch of our new website www.britishchauffeurtours.co.uk are looking to further that service.

For clients arriving into the UK to meet up with a cruise ship we invariably find that visitors like to arrive a few days early or, if on the day of sailing, very early in the morning. Now, what to do? the cruise companies do a marvellous job of herding their new arrivals around the airport terminal as they wait for ‘just a couple of more flights’ to then eventually send all packing on 50 seat coaches and to compound the matter this isn’t necessarily a cheap option.

Up steps Chirton Grange (fanfare please) who can organise a straight transfer from airport or hotel to the ships gantry or, should time allow, arrange to show you something of our historic and beautiful country on route to the ship.

For example, let us take our busiest starting point, Heathrow airport. All our guests are met in the arrivals hall by their own dedicated, suited chauffeur holding a bright and clear iPad name board. We are not waiting for anyone else as we now assist you with your luggage to the waiting vehicle, we recommend the Mercedes Viano (mini-van) as cruise clients never travel lightly, where your comfort is enhanced by the supply of complimentary mineral water, the days newspaper and WIFI connectivity. We can go directly to the ship or why not try:

A 15 minute journey into lovely Windsor and its Royal Castle, take afternoon tea in the Crooked Café, tour the Castle or simply stroll the lovely Thames riverside crossing to gawp at the sons of the rich and famous at the elite Eton College. We then have 1.5 hour trip to Southampton.

Our unique ‘Selfie’ whirlwind tour of London. Once into the countries capitol city we may not have time to go into the many museums and galleries but can certainly get you around and photographed outside all of the major landmarks London has to offer. As with all we do this can be tailored to individual needs. Some want the famous Abbey Road/ Beatles shot others want the Tower of London, we’ll make sure you get them all including the Red Telephone box- Top Tip; This is great for teenagers who get bored easily. You shop and we’ll shoot them (with a camera)

The mystery of Stonehenge is only around 1.5 hours travel time with around another hour then needed from the site to the port. A great way to fill in your time and tick a box, boxes can be made available to tick if needed. With the recently opened, multi million pound, Stonehenge exhibit on offer before you are shuttled down to the real thing this is an opportunity not to be missed.

On www.britishchauffeurtours.co.uk we don’t really do ready-made tours but would rather you give us the remit of your likes and interests then let us build your own personal experience. Be it Winston Churchill, Downton Abbey or Harry Potter to the Battle of Britain or The Beatles we can build it. Steam trains to afternoon tea, English wines to warm beer, history….oh you get the idea.

British Chauffeur Tours

Chirton Grange is embarking on a new adventure. Over the past few years, while chauffeuring people around this beautiful county, we've become quite adept at running tours and our knowledge of the land has improved drastically. We're also building relationships with cruise companies, travel agents and the tourist industry as a whole.

As part of this, we've noticed that a lot of the tours already in existence aren't really geared towards families with teenagers. At all. Young kids have the family days out and zoo's etc. Older kids (18+) can go to the pubs and nightclubs that make up London's excellent nightlife. But what if you're between 12 and 18? There's plenty to do in this country, loads of ways to spend the day, but they just aren't apparent!

That's why, we're looking to work with companies who offer these days and experiences to put together a "family day out". We'll take the kids off to Greenwich to fight Zombies, while Mum and Dad can have a look round the Maritime Museum and have a lovely lunch. Or we could drop Mum and Dad at a civilised restaurant in Southampton from the cruise, then take the kids to paintball for the afternoon.

We remember that in those ages we didn't like anything. It was all very uncool. So was the word uncool... So, let's take the kids off your hands for the day, take them to something they will enjoy and leave the parents to go and have a nose round an art gallery. Kid-free.

So, this is an appeal really, we've got some great ideas and venues in mind, but we need the help of anyone we can to put together some really great days out. So get in contact to contact@chirtongrange.co.uk or visit www.britishchauffeurtours.co.uk or Tweet us @BritishTour.

Thanks for reading!