Spare Wheel Robberies....

Quick note, 

Many Viano drivers are having their spare wheel stolen from under their vans and, literally in some cases, their noses.

Having had the misfortune to have had to change a flat tyre, on the hard shoulder of the M20 at 0430am while POB, it was a relief to note that Mercs had put some thought into such a situation. I dropped the wheel and released it in under 3 minutes without having to crawl under the vehicle in my best M&S suit. All good, but this simple system also works in the favour of the thief. They, apparently, push a cushion under the spare, snip the cable and effortlessly steal your wheel.

There is speculatation that London cabbies are inadvertently supplying a market for the thieves in their new style Vito's but there is certainly no shortage of takers as there seems to be more Viano drivers who've suffered than not.

Take extra care, when out working try and park in a place that makes it difficult for them, yes, they are stealing them while you work, or get a chain fitted to cable. The cost of a chain would be around £40 while a new spare is £300

Going Sober

My wife, Nicola, asked me to pen few words about how we are both looking forward to a thing called 'Go Sober for October'. Firstly, I haven't used a pen but the 'drag keyboard' on my new HTC phone and secondly, I am not looking forward to going a whole month without so much as a glass of wine. 

We run our own business primarily because I, not her, find it difficult being told what to do by anyone. Nicola says I'm pig headed but I prefer 'stubborn and holding high standards'. Ironically this means I now take instruction from anyone and everyone who is good enough to book their chauffeur car with Chirton Grange, but as all the business debt is our own, I can settle my mind to the fact that I am actually working for myself. Restaurants are another venue where my pig headed-ness appears. when I have taken a decision on what to order I can then get quite uppity when asked by anyone I'm dining with, as they hold a dripping fork out towards me striking fear into my heart, saying:

 

'Mmm, you must try this'

'No thanks' i'll say 'I'm having the fish'

They continue 'I know but seriously it is delicious'

'And I'm pleased for you but I don't want any'

They go on 'you'll regret it, just a little bit'

Which usually ends with me pushing their face into the pie and mash, will the mother-in-law never learn?

Admittedly I have issues, I concede that, but if I've chosen to have the fish then that is my choice! I don't want a peice of pie especially from someone else's saliva soaked cutlery……

So if I decide to not drink wine or beer for a month because I want to feel better or lose a bit of weight then fine, God knows I could do with it, but being told I can't drink because of a charitable event.....I’m going to persevere but, well, I am not happy. Yes, we are doing this for charity, great stuff, very worthy, but couldn't I just pay them the amount that I would be sponsored and continue living my life as I want to live it?......NO, not an option!

It's not that I particularly need a drink or crave a drink but every now and then i might like to have a drink and that’s what is giving me the hump. The charity have kindly offered us a 'day off' if needed, though I have to find someone to buy me that!! So, no, I am not looking forward to being dictated to for a month, as mentioned I like to think I’m independent so I have entered into it with perhaps not the same enthusiasm others are doing and certainly not in the 'spirit of things'. Spirits are banned too….

I'm not going to suggest you do the same even though you will undoubtedly feel better, lose some weight and help a great cause. No, you do what you want…..I’ll let you know how I progress!

A Big Season for Sport in the UK

It is a big season for sport in the UK at the moment with most eyes fixed towards Brazil and the World Cup. No one in Blighty ever really expected any more than we got from England (again) we just hoped against hope. And so, the only football song worth singing, 3 Lions on the Shirt, extolling our '30 years of hurt' is now actually 48 years of hurt............and counting.

Sports criss-cross at this time of year with ardent football fans happy to 'get into' the cricket at Lords or tennis at Wimbledon, just so long as the Brit Andy Murray is doing well. They'll lose interest and start to Google the new seasons fixture list as soon as Andy the Scot is knocked out. For horse racing we flock in our thousands to the Epsom Derby and soon after to Royal Ascot, a tradition of pomp and circumstance since Queen Anne kicked it all off in 1711 (though why she didn't just settle on a 5pm start is beyond me). The great and the good flow into affluent Berkshire to witness the flat seasons best nags, the gents bedecked in top hat and tails and the ladies beautifully resplendent, finally realising the culmination of many hours shopping and deliberation to at last parade like horny peacocks up and down the paddocks. More often than not, where they flowed in they are later poured back, into chauffeur cars and coaches for the long journey home. The toffs in familiar Bentleys while the wannabe's choosing a classic pink stretched limo which best befits their breeding.

At all events the sights and sounds are set on repeat, ticket touts pass with furtive 'I buy and sell, Guv' and the ladies in too high heels totter around like new born deer looking for sympathy to their excruciating pain with a shrill 'I wear them for you' defence ( which is about as sound as Jagielka and co' proved to be), Strawberries and cream, hot dogs and lager and 'champagne with no knickers' make all of our summer events well worth adding to your bucket list

That said, I want to introduce you to some different kinds of sports, well, if not exactly sport then pastimes and events. You see the British do the big events better than anyone in the world. The Queen's Parade at Ascot and the whites of Wimbledon bellow tradition and heritage and for those modern upstarts our music festivals are the envy of the world....but we Brits have so much more to offer;

Gloucester Cheese Rolling - www.cheeserolling.co.uk

 

Thought to have been happening for hundreds of years, the origin of pushing a huge round of cheese down a 1 in 3 hill while being pursued by a gaggle of lunatics ( no one can cite defamation as I have stood on Coopers Hill and you need to be crazy to jump down it) are vague, and if honest slightly boring. Instead, let's just marvel at the fact that this event is still being run today if for no other reason than it is an illegal event, in the eyes of the police and local council who refuse to sanction the day anyhow. So be warned that aside from a few St Johns ambulance volunteers, there is very little assistance to be found should your foot happen to end up facing the wrong way when you land (also witnessed at Coopers Hill). Alas, it will also means your travel insurance is null and void too.

The rewards for the 1st person over the finish line, as you are not expected to keep pace with a cheese travelling at 70 mph, are well short of worthy for such do-daring but the £10 prize fund does deter the hustlers and professionals from bothering.........that and the risk of serious injury. Cheese rolling takes place on Coopers Hill, Brockworth, nr Gloucester, (07785368693) on the Spring Bank Holiday Monday. To enter you need to turn up early as the police block the road, climb the hill and join the toothless morons drinking Scrumpy and then take a deep, deep breath.

Nettle Eating Championship

The first person ever to pick up a hand full of Nettle, an aggressive little weed with the ability to first sting then irritate the skin, pop it into their mouth and eat it was probably drunk, being dared or both.

But then to establish a World Championship for Nettle eating!? Well, only the British. The Bottle Inn, nr Bridport hosts this enigma with locals to internationals (ok, curious tourists) all sitting to devour as many stalks as they can hold down with-in the allotted time. Liquid refreshment is allowed, if not imperative, but no other assistance bar the encouragement of the gathering is permitted.

Set in the middle of the pubs June Beer Festival the chance to become a World Champion is too good an opportunity to turn down for the dozen or so tingly mouthed entrants. Visit www.bottle-inn.co.uk for details.

Big Snorkelling

The activity of bog snorkelling was started in 1976 near Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales, which apart from being officially the smallest town in the United Kingdom is a rather ordinary and, dare I say it, drab place. So to attract more tourists a plan was hatched from an over-the-bar conversation at The Neuadd Arms.

The World Bog Snorkelling Championship, first held in 1985, takes place annually every August Bank Holiday at the dense Waen Rhydd peat bog, near the aforementioned boring town. In 2013 Dineka Maguire broke the previous World Record set by Andrew Holmes. Dineka's time was 1:23.13 secs, also making her the Ladies champion.

The event now attracts more than 200 entrants who lower down into the murky, cold water, hoping their feet wont find a dead sheep, before pushing off along the 55 metre trench to touch the post at the end and back again. Easy eh, well not so much. The rules are simple in that you must wear flippers and a snorkel (wet suit at your discretion) but you cannot use conventional swimming strokes. So a manic display of flipper power, without the poise and grace shown by the 'Man from Atlantis', is displayed as these oil skinned fools thrash through the Welsh countryside watched by locals who, in the pub that night, 'didn't think anyone would be stupid enough' 

Google, www.green-events.co.uk and get a tetanus jab.

To enjoy any of these events in chauffeur driven luxury (which you'll need after some of them) visit www.chirtongrange.co.uk

St George's Day

Well today is St George's Day. A day celebrated in England not even a little bit as enthusiastically as St Patricks Day. Why is this? Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against Ireland but I find it a little amusing that we celebrate the national day of Ireland over the national day of England. Then it hit me... This is what's so fantastic about England. We're so self deprecating that we don't want to celebrate George for fear of being branded a nationalist, we're such a vibrant multi-cultural society that we'd rather drink Guinness with someone whose great aunt was born in Ireland than toot our own horn.

England is a melting pot of nationalities and cultures and religions. For me, that's probably my favourite thing. For the most part we're an accepting and tolerant society and long may it continue this way. However, just for today, please allow me to share with you my favourite things about England that are English. The reasons why, once a year, we can head down the pub and raise a pint of ale and boast about this little island in Northern Europe...

• The Beatles
• 1966 and all that
• The Royal Family
• Charles Dickens
• William Shakespeare
• Charles Darwin
• The spirit of the Blitz
• Winston Churchill
• Dunkirk
• D-Day
• Bobby and Jackie Charlton
• Geoff Hurst
• Queen
• Paul Weller
• Yorkshire
• Water Desalinisation
• The Sewing Machine
• The Christmas Card
• The Invention of TV
• The World Wide Web
• Sir Francis Bacon
• The Steam Turbine
• The Humber Bridge
• Bangers and Mash
• Brown Sauce
• Fish and Chips
• A Full English Breakfast
• The Lawn Mower
• Gravy
• Isambard Kingdom Brunel
• Sir Isaac Newton
• The Geordie Lamp
• Michael Faraday
• Stephen Hawking
• Football
• Rugby
• Cricket
• Snooker
• Tennis
• Darts
• Bowls
• The Jet Engine
• The Great Western Railway
• McLaren F1
• The Hovercraft
• The Coastguard
• Our Police Force
• Our Fire Service
• The Scouting Movement

I'm sure there's many more I haven't mentioned so feel free to comment. But tonight, just tonight, don't have that Belgian Lager or that take away. Go to your local pub, raise a pint of London Pride above your pie, mash and liquor, then toast England.

And tomorrow we can be British and Europeans again.

Happy St George's Day.

The Grand National

Alright so it's not in London, in fact it's a long way away in Aintree, near Liverpool but this weekend is the long awaited Grand National. The FA Cup Final of horse racing. I'd imagine true racing fans find it a bit annoying that there's this day where everyone jumps on the wagon and betting shops are filled with once a year experts but for one day only, the sport comes to the attention of every living room in the country.

It's the one day a year when everyone allows themselves a bet. From your nan having a sneaky £1 on a horse and inexplicably winning to 20-somethings in pubs who've read the Racing Post over a fry up, laying £50 over 12 different each way "long shots".

And the tragedy is, calling this race is damned near impossible. Forty riders over 4 miles and a prize of over half a million pounds to the winner makes this race one of the most competitive in the world. Reputations are won and lost over Aintree's fences and some poor horses race their last race in this classic.

Of course, with all the interest around the day, parking is in short supply. And let's be honest, who wants to have the car for a day at the races? Hopefully you'll end the day with some champagne! The only way to enjoy the National in true luxury is to be chauffeur driven, to the door, and have your car waiting for you when all the races have been run.

Chirton Grange, through partners in the area can supply a car for the day at some of the most competitive rates going. Click here to make a booking.

Crossrail workers dig up plague victims

Yes, the Crossrail is being built across London. This is an underground tunnel that will combine East and West London without having to stop at various tube stations and make changes along the way. Now, some people would claim this massively convenient way of getting across town will be bad for business, but actually we don't think it will be. You see, most of our work is contracted and involves driving various important foreign guests around London. Their hosts would never put them on a train and, more importantly, they are rarely crossing London, mostly they are going from Heathrow into town. Actually, what we're anticipating is actually it should ease (if only slightly) congestion on London's roads.

Anyway, back to the title, one of the more peculiar stories to come out of the construction of these tunnels is the various things that get dug up along the way, in this case it's victims of the Black Death. For those who don't know, the bubonic plague spread across Europe in the 1350s and wiped out millions as it spread. Nowadays, outbreaks can be treated with antibiotics that weren't available at the time.



During the "great pestilence" there were two mass graves set up outside the City walls at East Smithfield and Farringdon, some a further out in Blackheath (hence the name) and stretch as far as Gravesend (hence the name). In March 2013, Crossrail workers uncovered 25 skeletons along with 14th Century pottery.

Tests on 12 of these Skeletons have been returned now and apparently they can tell all sorts from skeletons that are 500 years old. The first thing is that most of them were malnourished and had rickets. Some had bad spinal injuries consistent with heavy labour and the strangest conclusion was that some were from as far north as Scotland, indicating London was as attractive to others as far back as 1450.

The digging is only about half way through so who knows what else they'll unearth along the way, probably some of the victims of the Krays as they enter East London. What we do know is, London has a rich and vibrant history and we're learning more about it every day.

To book a car in London instead of being underground with the plague, click here

Changes to the Private Hire Law in the UK

Ok, so a blog about the law that us chauffeurs face isn't massively interesting, but it is. You see, in Britain there are some antiquated laws that just never got changed. In theory, black cab drivers should still carry a bale of hay at all times for their horse!

One of these laws, relates to Private Hire Cars, like us as chauffeurs but also for private hire taxi's and involves something called cross border trading. To paint the picture, each council has it's own licensing department that deals with taxi and chauffeur licenses. What happens is you register with a council and you operate there, we're registered with Medway Council. Now, if you take a booking from a client that means you work in another councils licensing area, you currently have to send one of your licensed cars to do the job. This isn't a problem if like us you're registered in Medway but the job comes up in London, it's only a half hour journey.

The problem occurs when you have a client in Manchester or Glasgow that wants to use you. Under the current law, you can't just sub-contract the job to a local company, you have to send a car all the way to Scotland, do the job, then bring the car back. Not exactly green you'll agree, but that's the way it is.

Until now.

Last year the Law Commission were looking into the Private Hire Law and published recommendations to amend the law. One of their main areas of concern was the cross border trading, in that they knew people were sub-contracting to other areas, understood why they were doing it, and recommended the law change to allow it. However, as with most government operations, it was held up for three months with administrative delays and finally it was announced this week that the changes won't be made this side of the general election. Huzzah!

However, when whatever deity you prefer closes a window, they also open a door. In Mr. Cameron's attempts to cut "red tape" around small businesses, there is currently a "Deregulation bill" going through Parliament. This bill covers just about everything, from Sikhs not wearing helmets on building sites to the need to gain the secretary of states approval for pelican crossings. As of yesterday it also includes the amendment to the law on Private Hire Vehicles cross border trading to allow it as long as both vehicles are legally operating in their boroughs. There are other amendments too which involve my wife being able to drive my car when it's not being used as a private hire vehicle and applying for my license less often.

I guess, what I'm trying to say, through gritted teeth, is well done Coalition. You've taken 4 years but you've finally called something right. And there's an election next year...

To book a Private Hire Vehicle anywhere in the UK, click here