Spare Wheel Robberies....

Quick note, 

Many Viano drivers are having their spare wheel stolen from under their vans and, literally in some cases, their noses.

Having had the misfortune to have had to change a flat tyre, on the hard shoulder of the M20 at 0430am while POB, it was a relief to note that Mercs had put some thought into such a situation. I dropped the wheel and released it in under 3 minutes without having to crawl under the vehicle in my best M&S suit. All good, but this simple system also works in the favour of the thief. They, apparently, push a cushion under the spare, snip the cable and effortlessly steal your wheel.

There is speculatation that London cabbies are inadvertently supplying a market for the thieves in their new style Vito's but there is certainly no shortage of takers as there seems to be more Viano drivers who've suffered than not.

Take extra care, when out working try and park in a place that makes it difficult for them, yes, they are stealing them while you work, or get a chain fitted to cable. The cost of a chain would be around £40 while a new spare is £300

Going Sober

My wife, Nicola, asked me to pen few words about how we are both looking forward to a thing called 'Go Sober for October'. Firstly, I haven't used a pen but the 'drag keyboard' on my new HTC phone and secondly, I am not looking forward to going a whole month without so much as a glass of wine. 

We run our own business primarily because I, not her, find it difficult being told what to do by anyone. Nicola says I'm pig headed but I prefer 'stubborn and holding high standards'. Ironically this means I now take instruction from anyone and everyone who is good enough to book their chauffeur car with Chirton Grange, but as all the business debt is our own, I can settle my mind to the fact that I am actually working for myself. Restaurants are another venue where my pig headed-ness appears. when I have taken a decision on what to order I can then get quite uppity when asked by anyone I'm dining with, as they hold a dripping fork out towards me striking fear into my heart, saying:

 

'Mmm, you must try this'

'No thanks' i'll say 'I'm having the fish'

They continue 'I know but seriously it is delicious'

'And I'm pleased for you but I don't want any'

They go on 'you'll regret it, just a little bit'

Which usually ends with me pushing their face into the pie and mash, will the mother-in-law never learn?

Admittedly I have issues, I concede that, but if I've chosen to have the fish then that is my choice! I don't want a peice of pie especially from someone else's saliva soaked cutlery……

So if I decide to not drink wine or beer for a month because I want to feel better or lose a bit of weight then fine, God knows I could do with it, but being told I can't drink because of a charitable event.....I’m going to persevere but, well, I am not happy. Yes, we are doing this for charity, great stuff, very worthy, but couldn't I just pay them the amount that I would be sponsored and continue living my life as I want to live it?......NO, not an option!

It's not that I particularly need a drink or crave a drink but every now and then i might like to have a drink and that’s what is giving me the hump. The charity have kindly offered us a 'day off' if needed, though I have to find someone to buy me that!! So, no, I am not looking forward to being dictated to for a month, as mentioned I like to think I’m independent so I have entered into it with perhaps not the same enthusiasm others are doing and certainly not in the 'spirit of things'. Spirits are banned too….

I'm not going to suggest you do the same even though you will undoubtedly feel better, lose some weight and help a great cause. No, you do what you want…..I’ll let you know how I progress!

A Big Season for Sport in the UK

It is a big season for sport in the UK at the moment with most eyes fixed towards Brazil and the World Cup. No one in Blighty ever really expected any more than we got from England (again) we just hoped against hope. And so, the only football song worth singing, 3 Lions on the Shirt, extolling our '30 years of hurt' is now actually 48 years of hurt............and counting.

Sports criss-cross at this time of year with ardent football fans happy to 'get into' the cricket at Lords or tennis at Wimbledon, just so long as the Brit Andy Murray is doing well. They'll lose interest and start to Google the new seasons fixture list as soon as Andy the Scot is knocked out. For horse racing we flock in our thousands to the Epsom Derby and soon after to Royal Ascot, a tradition of pomp and circumstance since Queen Anne kicked it all off in 1711 (though why she didn't just settle on a 5pm start is beyond me). The great and the good flow into affluent Berkshire to witness the flat seasons best nags, the gents bedecked in top hat and tails and the ladies beautifully resplendent, finally realising the culmination of many hours shopping and deliberation to at last parade like horny peacocks up and down the paddocks. More often than not, where they flowed in they are later poured back, into chauffeur cars and coaches for the long journey home. The toffs in familiar Bentleys while the wannabe's choosing a classic pink stretched limo which best befits their breeding.

At all events the sights and sounds are set on repeat, ticket touts pass with furtive 'I buy and sell, Guv' and the ladies in too high heels totter around like new born deer looking for sympathy to their excruciating pain with a shrill 'I wear them for you' defence ( which is about as sound as Jagielka and co' proved to be), Strawberries and cream, hot dogs and lager and 'champagne with no knickers' make all of our summer events well worth adding to your bucket list

That said, I want to introduce you to some different kinds of sports, well, if not exactly sport then pastimes and events. You see the British do the big events better than anyone in the world. The Queen's Parade at Ascot and the whites of Wimbledon bellow tradition and heritage and for those modern upstarts our music festivals are the envy of the world....but we Brits have so much more to offer;

Gloucester Cheese Rolling - www.cheeserolling.co.uk

 

Thought to have been happening for hundreds of years, the origin of pushing a huge round of cheese down a 1 in 3 hill while being pursued by a gaggle of lunatics ( no one can cite defamation as I have stood on Coopers Hill and you need to be crazy to jump down it) are vague, and if honest slightly boring. Instead, let's just marvel at the fact that this event is still being run today if for no other reason than it is an illegal event, in the eyes of the police and local council who refuse to sanction the day anyhow. So be warned that aside from a few St Johns ambulance volunteers, there is very little assistance to be found should your foot happen to end up facing the wrong way when you land (also witnessed at Coopers Hill). Alas, it will also means your travel insurance is null and void too.

The rewards for the 1st person over the finish line, as you are not expected to keep pace with a cheese travelling at 70 mph, are well short of worthy for such do-daring but the £10 prize fund does deter the hustlers and professionals from bothering.........that and the risk of serious injury. Cheese rolling takes place on Coopers Hill, Brockworth, nr Gloucester, (07785368693) on the Spring Bank Holiday Monday. To enter you need to turn up early as the police block the road, climb the hill and join the toothless morons drinking Scrumpy and then take a deep, deep breath.

Nettle Eating Championship

The first person ever to pick up a hand full of Nettle, an aggressive little weed with the ability to first sting then irritate the skin, pop it into their mouth and eat it was probably drunk, being dared or both.

But then to establish a World Championship for Nettle eating!? Well, only the British. The Bottle Inn, nr Bridport hosts this enigma with locals to internationals (ok, curious tourists) all sitting to devour as many stalks as they can hold down with-in the allotted time. Liquid refreshment is allowed, if not imperative, but no other assistance bar the encouragement of the gathering is permitted.

Set in the middle of the pubs June Beer Festival the chance to become a World Champion is too good an opportunity to turn down for the dozen or so tingly mouthed entrants. Visit www.bottle-inn.co.uk for details.

Big Snorkelling

The activity of bog snorkelling was started in 1976 near Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales, which apart from being officially the smallest town in the United Kingdom is a rather ordinary and, dare I say it, drab place. So to attract more tourists a plan was hatched from an over-the-bar conversation at The Neuadd Arms.

The World Bog Snorkelling Championship, first held in 1985, takes place annually every August Bank Holiday at the dense Waen Rhydd peat bog, near the aforementioned boring town. In 2013 Dineka Maguire broke the previous World Record set by Andrew Holmes. Dineka's time was 1:23.13 secs, also making her the Ladies champion.

The event now attracts more than 200 entrants who lower down into the murky, cold water, hoping their feet wont find a dead sheep, before pushing off along the 55 metre trench to touch the post at the end and back again. Easy eh, well not so much. The rules are simple in that you must wear flippers and a snorkel (wet suit at your discretion) but you cannot use conventional swimming strokes. So a manic display of flipper power, without the poise and grace shown by the 'Man from Atlantis', is displayed as these oil skinned fools thrash through the Welsh countryside watched by locals who, in the pub that night, 'didn't think anyone would be stupid enough' 

Google, www.green-events.co.uk and get a tetanus jab.

To enjoy any of these events in chauffeur driven luxury (which you'll need after some of them) visit www.chirtongrange.co.uk

St George's Day

Well today is St George's Day. A day celebrated in England not even a little bit as enthusiastically as St Patricks Day. Why is this? Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against Ireland but I find it a little amusing that we celebrate the national day of Ireland over the national day of England. Then it hit me... This is what's so fantastic about England. We're so self deprecating that we don't want to celebrate George for fear of being branded a nationalist, we're such a vibrant multi-cultural society that we'd rather drink Guinness with someone whose great aunt was born in Ireland than toot our own horn.

England is a melting pot of nationalities and cultures and religions. For me, that's probably my favourite thing. For the most part we're an accepting and tolerant society and long may it continue this way. However, just for today, please allow me to share with you my favourite things about England that are English. The reasons why, once a year, we can head down the pub and raise a pint of ale and boast about this little island in Northern Europe...

• The Beatles
• 1966 and all that
• The Royal Family
• Charles Dickens
• William Shakespeare
• Charles Darwin
• The spirit of the Blitz
• Winston Churchill
• Dunkirk
• D-Day
• Bobby and Jackie Charlton
• Geoff Hurst
• Queen
• Paul Weller
• Yorkshire
• Water Desalinisation
• The Sewing Machine
• The Christmas Card
• The Invention of TV
• The World Wide Web
• Sir Francis Bacon
• The Steam Turbine
• The Humber Bridge
• Bangers and Mash
• Brown Sauce
• Fish and Chips
• A Full English Breakfast
• The Lawn Mower
• Gravy
• Isambard Kingdom Brunel
• Sir Isaac Newton
• The Geordie Lamp
• Michael Faraday
• Stephen Hawking
• Football
• Rugby
• Cricket
• Snooker
• Tennis
• Darts
• Bowls
• The Jet Engine
• The Great Western Railway
• McLaren F1
• The Hovercraft
• The Coastguard
• Our Police Force
• Our Fire Service
• The Scouting Movement

I'm sure there's many more I haven't mentioned so feel free to comment. But tonight, just tonight, don't have that Belgian Lager or that take away. Go to your local pub, raise a pint of London Pride above your pie, mash and liquor, then toast England.

And tomorrow we can be British and Europeans again.

Happy St George's Day.

The Grand National

Alright so it's not in London, in fact it's a long way away in Aintree, near Liverpool but this weekend is the long awaited Grand National. The FA Cup Final of horse racing. I'd imagine true racing fans find it a bit annoying that there's this day where everyone jumps on the wagon and betting shops are filled with once a year experts but for one day only, the sport comes to the attention of every living room in the country.

It's the one day a year when everyone allows themselves a bet. From your nan having a sneaky £1 on a horse and inexplicably winning to 20-somethings in pubs who've read the Racing Post over a fry up, laying £50 over 12 different each way "long shots".

And the tragedy is, calling this race is damned near impossible. Forty riders over 4 miles and a prize of over half a million pounds to the winner makes this race one of the most competitive in the world. Reputations are won and lost over Aintree's fences and some poor horses race their last race in this classic.

Of course, with all the interest around the day, parking is in short supply. And let's be honest, who wants to have the car for a day at the races? Hopefully you'll end the day with some champagne! The only way to enjoy the National in true luxury is to be chauffeur driven, to the door, and have your car waiting for you when all the races have been run.

Chirton Grange, through partners in the area can supply a car for the day at some of the most competitive rates going. Click here to make a booking.

Crossrail workers dig up plague victims

Yes, the Crossrail is being built across London. This is an underground tunnel that will combine East and West London without having to stop at various tube stations and make changes along the way. Now, some people would claim this massively convenient way of getting across town will be bad for business, but actually we don't think it will be. You see, most of our work is contracted and involves driving various important foreign guests around London. Their hosts would never put them on a train and, more importantly, they are rarely crossing London, mostly they are going from Heathrow into town. Actually, what we're anticipating is actually it should ease (if only slightly) congestion on London's roads.

Anyway, back to the title, one of the more peculiar stories to come out of the construction of these tunnels is the various things that get dug up along the way, in this case it's victims of the Black Death. For those who don't know, the bubonic plague spread across Europe in the 1350s and wiped out millions as it spread. Nowadays, outbreaks can be treated with antibiotics that weren't available at the time.



During the "great pestilence" there were two mass graves set up outside the City walls at East Smithfield and Farringdon, some a further out in Blackheath (hence the name) and stretch as far as Gravesend (hence the name). In March 2013, Crossrail workers uncovered 25 skeletons along with 14th Century pottery.

Tests on 12 of these Skeletons have been returned now and apparently they can tell all sorts from skeletons that are 500 years old. The first thing is that most of them were malnourished and had rickets. Some had bad spinal injuries consistent with heavy labour and the strangest conclusion was that some were from as far north as Scotland, indicating London was as attractive to others as far back as 1450.

The digging is only about half way through so who knows what else they'll unearth along the way, probably some of the victims of the Krays as they enter East London. What we do know is, London has a rich and vibrant history and we're learning more about it every day.

To book a car in London instead of being underground with the plague, click here

Changes to the Private Hire Law in the UK

Ok, so a blog about the law that us chauffeurs face isn't massively interesting, but it is. You see, in Britain there are some antiquated laws that just never got changed. In theory, black cab drivers should still carry a bale of hay at all times for their horse!

One of these laws, relates to Private Hire Cars, like us as chauffeurs but also for private hire taxi's and involves something called cross border trading. To paint the picture, each council has it's own licensing department that deals with taxi and chauffeur licenses. What happens is you register with a council and you operate there, we're registered with Medway Council. Now, if you take a booking from a client that means you work in another councils licensing area, you currently have to send one of your licensed cars to do the job. This isn't a problem if like us you're registered in Medway but the job comes up in London, it's only a half hour journey.

The problem occurs when you have a client in Manchester or Glasgow that wants to use you. Under the current law, you can't just sub-contract the job to a local company, you have to send a car all the way to Scotland, do the job, then bring the car back. Not exactly green you'll agree, but that's the way it is.

Until now.

Last year the Law Commission were looking into the Private Hire Law and published recommendations to amend the law. One of their main areas of concern was the cross border trading, in that they knew people were sub-contracting to other areas, understood why they were doing it, and recommended the law change to allow it. However, as with most government operations, it was held up for three months with administrative delays and finally it was announced this week that the changes won't be made this side of the general election. Huzzah!

However, when whatever deity you prefer closes a window, they also open a door. In Mr. Cameron's attempts to cut "red tape" around small businesses, there is currently a "Deregulation bill" going through Parliament. This bill covers just about everything, from Sikhs not wearing helmets on building sites to the need to gain the secretary of states approval for pelican crossings. As of yesterday it also includes the amendment to the law on Private Hire Vehicles cross border trading to allow it as long as both vehicles are legally operating in their boroughs. There are other amendments too which involve my wife being able to drive my car when it's not being used as a private hire vehicle and applying for my license less often.

I guess, what I'm trying to say, through gritted teeth, is well done Coalition. You've taken 4 years but you've finally called something right. And there's an election next year...

To book a Private Hire Vehicle anywhere in the UK, click here

Springtime in London: What to do?

Well according to the little animations that Google does, it's Spring now. As I sit here in the office writing this blog, I cast many an envious eye to the sunshine outside and I'm already planning my weekend.

A quick flick through Google and I've now planned the next three months of activities! London is a massive sprawling, vibrant City of traditions, customs, markets, fairs and a melting pot of cultures and (weather permitting) there's plenty of action to be found!

Kew Gardens

Open all year of course, but spring sees the flowers start to bloom and should see ideal temperatures for walking around the gardens in between the stifling heat of summer and the stifling cold of winter. There's plenty for the kids with nature trails and a large badger sett! If the rain does come, there's plenty of massive greenhouses to hide in too!

To book a car for a day at Kew, click here

The London Wetland Centre

Located in Barnes near Richmond, the London Wetland Centre has been voted the UK's Favourite Nature Reserve in 2012. It has over 105 acres which are perfect for spotting birds, otters and whatever other wildlife lurks in the reservoirs and marshes around it. There's also a café for a spot of lunch!

To book a car for a day at the Wetland Centre, click here

Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race

We'll talk more about this in the coming weeks but on the 6th April is the 160th annual boat race between Oxford University and Cambridge University. The race starts at the Putney Bridge and takes in Craven Cottage (home of Fulham FC) before finishing at Chiswick Bridge. The first race was won in 1829 and has only been missed for the two World Wars since then. There aren't many free sports events in London so the boat race is undoubtedly one of the most popular.

To book a car for a day on the River Thames, click here

London Marathon

Ok, so being chauffeur driven the 26.2 miles is cheating but if you're competing, you probably won't want to jump on the tube home after completing the gruelling course. Every year, millions of people come out to see the athletes and ordinary folk competing and the day turns in to a massive party. Since the beginning in 1981, participants have raised over £500m for charity. The race is run on the 13th April 2014, hopefully there's no rain!

To book a car to meet you at the finish line, click here

St George's Day

On March 17th, the UK turns green for St Patrick's day for some reason. However, the 23rd April is St George's Day and more and more people every year are celebrating the day dedicated to patron saint of England. Perhaps even more significant over the coming years given the possible separation from Scotland, there's nothing more English than taking Tea at the Ritz followed by a few pints of London Pride and a Roast Dinner!

To book a car as your trusty steed, click here

Vaisakhi Celebrations

Vaisakhi is the Sikh New Year and given the massive melting pot of cultures in London, one of the best places to celebrate in the UK will be our capital. Vaisakhi is celebrated every year in London at Trafalgar Square with over 30,000 participants, DJ Sets, Asian foods activities for children and dances.

To book a car for Vaisakhi, click here

FA Cup Final

Despite being accused of losing it's appeal over the last few years, the FA Cup is back with vengeance this year. Sheffield United from the third tier have already dumped two Premiership teams and once Championship team out in reaching the semi-finals. Wigan from the Championship beat Champions League side Manchester City and Hull from the Premier Leagues lower half have found themselves in the semi finals. Arsenal, without a trophy since 2005 find themselves in with their best chance of having an open topped bus parade this year.

No open topped cars, but transport for the day, click here

Covent Garden May Fayre

The May Fayre at Covent Garden on May 11th is a nod to the British traditions of puppet shows at seaside towns. Puppeteers travel from all over the country to take part in a day of special street shows at the Actor's Church in Covent Garden. You should recognise the church's portico from its appearance in the Audrey Hepburn film My Fair Lady.

For a car to ferry you about Covent Garden or the day, click here

As you can see there's plenty in London to keep you busy over the next two months. Our drivers have expert knowledge of London and the surrounding areas so give us a call or visit our website to make an enquiry.

Woodstock: Edge of Oxford or Beginning of the Cotswolds?

Lying just 8 miles north of Oxford and a mere 20 (albeit slow) miles from Stow on the Wold, I am declaring the town of Woodstock as the epicentre of England. The busy A44 is the only drawback to the tranquillity of the town but the road makes up for its intrusion by allowing you only a 10-20 minutes car journey from Oxford.

You wouldn't want to stay for more than 3 nights in Woodstock as it is more of a base to visit either Blenheim Palace, which is so close you can walk in, or Bicester village (20 minutes away by car). The experience of Woodstock is to get that City grime or airport jet lag off you. It has the quiet, laid back ambiance you are looking for, enough eating places and good hotels to recharge your batteries before heading into the Cotswolds.

By the way, most of what I experience is by car as I work as a chauffeur which enables me to experience these places. Other modes of transport are available but bad for my business ;0)

From the glare and noise of London, Woodstock is the first deep breath of Cotswold stone cottages, of village halls, tea rooms and antique shops. Bijou restaurants vie for your business against traditional pubs, where the crackle of log fires is a welcome change to the sound of fruit machines and pool tables. You'll need to adjust quickly to the smell though, for the record it is called fresh air with just a hint of smoky oak, wonderful, but be warned it will have you yawning into your Real Ale before 10pm

Woodstock has plenty of places to stay. My client was guest of the www.hopehousewoodstock.co.uk and spoke very highly of her stay in the Blenheim Suite. Hope House only has 3 bedrooms and 1 apartment. The Hope House owner warmly welcomed my client into his establishment which is beautifully decorated with four poster beds, adorned with Italian sheets and silk duvet covers. No sign of prices in the foyer (which was as far as this below stairs worker got) or on the website so with the old adage of 'if you have to ask then you can't afford it', I pushed off to my more humble abode for the night. Five minutes' drive later and I arrive at www.sturdyscastleoxford.com and it was a damn site easier to find than Hope House was (which doesn't want people to know it is a hotel, apparently). My sleeping needs when working, are simple and always carefully orchestrated by my wife/PA. I must be close to clients hotel, have parking, it must be clean and, financially, within our overnight allowance. Nicola very rarely lets me down but tonight she has surpassed her own high standards. Although I had to do one 'kerb crawlers' lap of the car park before finding a space, there is ample parking, and, to be fair, I arrive at 8pm on a Saturday night so I'm out of step with 'ordinary people' and their sensible jobs. The restaurant and bar are heaving and I stand at the small reception fully expecting to be way down on the priority list. Then one of the barmaids appears and spots me, sets a pint of Guinness in flow while asking, 'checking in?' Then, with a 'sign here and here' I am scuttling behind her towards my room, (yes, she even took me to my room) and still saw her back in time to scribe the clover onto the Black stuff. Ok, I exaggerate but she was as impressive as the room, which may have lacked Italian bed linen admittedly but was a large, fresh and clean bedroom and en suite. With the flat screen TV and free Wifi, I have all I need. I didn't eat in the restaurant that night but plenty of others did which suggests the food is good. Breakfast was large and served well and all that at £63.00 I will definitely be back...........and I can bring the dog if I pay the tenner.

Blenheim Palace is the main attraction in this area. Set back from Woodstock, the Duke of Marlborough's 'des res' sits within its manicured grounds overlooking the lake, perfect for history buffs to discover the bygone ages and family secrets up and down the marble staircases. Winston Churchill was born and raised right here in Tory opulence (he is buried not one mile away in at St Martin's Church, Bladon) and if you pay for the day, you can upgrade free to a yearly pass. The weather today is gloriously sunny and 18 degrees, unheard of but welcome in March, so hundreds have dug out the pass to enjoy, if not the house again, then the gardens, lake and country walk up to the imposing statue of the 1st Duke of Marlborough, John Churchill. Dogs panting and kids on scooters make for a busy thrum around the grounds. The new restaurant annexe quenches thirst and hunger by serving up meals, hot soup and fantastic cakes for it's now weary visitors (after you have passed through the ubiquitous souvenir shop of course).

Now I am not a lover of shopping, and indeed walked through and past Blenheim's wares without any pang of guilt that I'd not purchased a paper-topped jar of marmalade or a book on the fish that stock the estates lake but must point out that one of the best Outlet Centres in the country is 20 minutes from Woodstock but fear not gentlemen, I have a cunning plan....

Bicester Village has everything a lady (I may come over slightly sexist and generalising for this part) needs for her retail therapy, every high street and Bond Street label/ designer is positioned ready to warm the credit card with, let's face it, last year's fashions. The discounts are healthy and genuine and blaze out across the faux High Street that from the car park look ordinary but, rather like the set of a Hollywood Cowboy movie, once on the 'strip' things change and come to life. Bicester has everything you'll need and a few things you didn't know you needed. The shops, of course, but add in High Street coffee and sandwich stops and a couple of good restaurants and I'm afraid the ladies of the group have little reason to leave. There is even a 'contemplation room' which has all the multi faith reading material for you to sit and think about what you've done. May your God help you. Ahh! My plan though! Gentlemen, we all know if the lady in your life is happy then we too are happy so here's what you do. Drop off your brood with arrangements to meet later, she really doesn't want you with her anyway with your tutting and 'yeah, it looks fine' mutterings. Park the car in their free spaces then look over the road from whence you came, you'll see a couple of rugby pitches and a huge sports ground. There is a walk-way between the rugby club and football pitches that leads into the real Bicester. Strolling towards and through the church yard is peaceful and takes no more than 5 minutes and then, behold, pubs, restaurants and coffee shops that are devoid of the queues your good lady has to endure. Go on a Saturday or Sunday, as I did, and watch Bicester Rugby club play while sipping your tea. More importantly, my plan is the only way to avoid coming into contact with the 'type' of person that the designer shops attract. People who have no more disposable income than you or I but, with their 70% discount, think they are Victoria Beckham or Joey Essex...........you are welcome. If you really can't put yourself through actually going then Bicester Village run a coach from London (several venues) in the morning with a return at 17.00pm for £25 www.bicestervillage.com

Written by Kevin Willis who owns and works for www.chirtongrange.co.uk For all your chauffeur requirements from cars to people movers to coaches. All views are my own and I speak as I find so please check all facts